Disordered Environment

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Disordered Environment

AFFIRMATION OF THE DAY: I am so grateful for my many gifts!

Have you ever felt like everything in your life seems completely disordered? Sometimes feeling stuck or stagnant, or like things are all unraveling? Be it your relationships, career, health…I chose this topic today because as I reflect on my own life, I sometimes hardly recognize myself anymore. A few years ago, I felt like I was hit by a train from all directions, a life-threatening disease, empty-nester (kids have grown up), marriage deteriorating, business split, major lifestyle change due to my health, only 40 years old, whoa… wait a minute! Up until this point, life had been really good, then wham-o, everything all at once??? Downward spiral…my life seems to be in complete disarray and out of order.
As I look around my home, even my environment is out of sorts, piles of papers un-filed in my office and stacks of books and magazines waiting for me to catch up on, who is this person? Who am I? As someone who used to pride herself on all labels facing the same direction in my pantry and refrigerator, I have to floor the brakes here and get back to who I really am.
Being able to step out of it, recognize that all of it is my own doing, my choices and my need for healing and growth, I can approach it one step at a time. Being gentle and patient with myself, but most of all forgiving and not judgmental of myself, is the only place I know where to start. Although the unfolding of my life experiences have indeed been painful and uncomfortable, I am always able to focus on the many gifts I’ve been given, trusting that the Universe only brings me exactly what I need, exactly when I need it. (Urgg!)
With much diligence, grateful that God has my back, prayers of ease and grace (knowing pain is inevitable, suffering optional), it may feel as if gargoyles are attacking me, I trust that as I continue my development and growth, I will flow back into who I really am. Loving & in order… This is life.

What areas of your life are in disorder and how will you approach your healing and growth?

2 Comments

  1. The fact that you have the courage to put this out there is evidence of your growing leaps and bounds! I love and support you!

    • Thank you. Life will always be about growing, and that is indeed what is happening!

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