There Goes The Fear
It is in the time of great sorrow I am reminded how precious life is. There is so little time to do so many things, to visit places I’ve never been to, take time for myself, spend it with the ones I love and experience life I want and dreamt of, even as a little girl.
We all imagine living a life of joy and happiness and we all know we should, someday soon, but time goes by and more than often, when we stop, turn around and look back, we say “Oh, that was just a silly dream” and “That’s what I wanted, but life got in the way”. So, life happens. It goes on, day in, day out, until, one day, it all just stops, the end.
Seven years ago, almost to the day, I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. I sat in my doctor’s office, scan results in his hand, the expression of “It’s not looking good” on his face. That’s when I was told I had a rare kind of lung cancer and this could be my end. Everything went into slow motion and as my life flashed before my eyes, I made a decision, this is not how it ends. Not for me. Not now. I’ll do whatever it takes, to cross the bridge, to get to the other side, to be healthy again. That day I not only took a chance, I chose life, and seven years later, I am still here.
And after everything I’ve been thorough, sometimes I still forget that at this life, this time around, we only get one shot. It isn’t until I received the sad news of a family member passing at a young age of 48 that I had another realization, in great sorrow, just how precious life is. What comes down to is ultimately not how short life is, but how much of it, when we are caught up in our routines and excuses, is not lived the way we want it to. My dear sister, my troubled angel who was always, even at a young age a mischievous one, lived her life fast, dangerously and yes, ultimately went before her time. But when I look back, I feel privileged to have had her in my life, and blessed with irreplaceable memories that will live with me forever. As kids, often I’d give in and take her lead, just youngsters having fun, getting in trouble no matter what the consequences…just experiencing life.
And so today, I look back, proud how fearless we were, how I learned to embrace life, how you showed me, Darlene what it means to be alive. You’ll always have a warm and welcome place in my heart, remembering your smiles will light up mine, your fearless spirit will live forever and I promise to never forget what you taught me, just how precious is life.
So I encourage you all to please take a moment and stop, look back and than look around, take a deep breath, jump on the tire swing, go for a ride, just do something you always wanted to do…take a chance on your life! Today, and every day!
If you ever lose your way remember to come back here, open your heart, let go of fear and find your balance.
There goes the fear…so let it go.